A Deux

On today’s feature, Oyinkan writes for eclectictope.com great ideas for that delicate and important first date. Enjoy!!!


So last Friday, I accepted an invite to have drinks and barbecue with a bunch of entertaining guys. Its funny how unmarried people start off by talking about work, News, sports, a movie, a celeb and somehow end up with the relationship gist. These sessions are usually therapeutic because you hear bachelors and sometimes bachelorettes venting their frustration about how there are no “take home to mamas” anymore. We all know that’s far from the truth. Maybe y’all are not checking out the right places or you probably don’t know what you are looking for. I quite understand the overwhelming pressure from family to bring the babe or bobo home. Keep your cool, love will find you soon. 

Anyway, Onyeka a friend of the bunch took the opportunity of the “rant session” to gist us about one “Opeke” he had just met. Onyeka by any standard is an eligible bachelor. By eligible I mean he’s mature, godly, smart and personable. A Civil Engineer with a good job, and eeerrm you know…with correct ego in the bank.
Onyeka met Aarinola the “opeke” at his cousin’s wedding some weeks ago. They’ve been talking and chatting everyday since then.
Onyeka being very traditional, thinks chatting via social media is not the best way to acquaint yourself with a love interest. He is planning a date with Aarinola who lives about two states away from him very soon. He said “as much as I look forward to spending quality time with that babe, I really don’t know what I’m going to do or where we’ll go” what do I do?

Really, going on dates shouldn’t be as hard as trying to understand women. 😀 I believe a date doesn’t have to be the conventional candle lit, table for two in some fancy restaurant, simply because, dinner dates for two people who barely know each other can be awkward, boring and unstimulating. Guys, the trick is *whispers* ladies like to be impressed. We might never admit it though. So think outside the box. Be creative and adventurous.
The idea of a date is to get to know each other better. Why choose an environment that will compel you to use those two things that look like wooden knitting pins. They are called chopsticks I guess. Or act like trained seals in Tuxedo’s and little black dresses..
Here’s a list of not-so-serious and super romantic date ideas. Send my cheque later :))

A walk to remember
Like you see in the movies yeah? If you live in a serene and calm neighborhood, where everybody minds their business, then park your car in a safe place and take a stroll. Apart from being a good way to burn the calories you ingested from eating that king size burger it will also give you uninterrupted time to talk about anything. Guys you should ask her about her childhood when the sun is setting. Trust me, she’ll talk.

Road Trip
I just love to travel. I’ll pick up an invitation to go on a road trip in a good car and with good company any day.  Almost every city or town in Nigeria has a tourist attraction. So act like tourists and visit a Museum, an Art Gallery, A Zoo, a Botanical Garden, a waterfall. A road trip will certainly give you the platform to talk about your appreciation for the Arts, History, pets, painting, music… Remember to pack some munchies and water with you. Not Gala and LaCasera please. Your hats and sunglasses might come handy too. I know Nigerian roads are bad but you won’t even remember because you’ll be “distracted” 😉

Music of the heart
Its natural and easy to like people who share our interest. So when you meet someone interesting who likes the things you like leverage on your shared interest. Say you both like Soul or Jazz or R ‘n’ B get tickets to the next Darey or Asa or Timi Dakolo concert. Whatever genre of music you like hit the karaoke bar together.

Love and Sports
Oh my! The energy sports fans ooze is always contagious. So why not invite her to share your passion for sports and athletics. Go watch a live football match, basketball game or hockey together.  She’ll let her hair down and maybe scream her head off. Maybe. After all you want to be sure she’s not an ice queen who doesn’t know how to have good fun. Ladies be warned, you’ll see another side of him if his team loses or scores a point. Live football matches in Nigeria though. I can’t guarantee your safety. Lol

Bookshop hopping
If both of you were avid readers and you got the information on your first meet, try the bookshop date. As you walk through the aisles or bookshelves there will be so much to talk about. They say a person’s taste in books says a lot about them. This is a little “serious” but eeerm I’m sure it will work for the bookworms. Sorry, love birds.

Down memory
Visit your past. Okay this sounds spooky already. When you meet someone you really like, take them to places you’ve been that hold precious memories. Say your Alma Mater. Visiting such a place will set the conversation in motion effortlessly.

I didn’t forget the classic movie date. But its the worn out date idea. Besides it won’t give you so much time to talk. And right now you should be talking. You could try it out still though.

The list is endless. Save the diner date for some other time. By then you’ll both know if you deserve to see each in that chic LBD or fancy blazer.

Notice that all these activities involve talking, for the most part.  The idea is to engage in an unconventional, fun, relaxed environment with the goal of getting to know each other. Don’t get me wrong, the dinner date works for some people but I just feel it should wait. Feel free to add to this list ;))

Oyinkansola is a News Reporter, Editor and producer with Radio Nigeria. A hopeless romantic, she loves first dates, wedding anniversaries, and everything in-between. She’s a mischievous introvert. She tweets @MielP 

20 Comments Add yours

  1. bharyour says:

    Very good. I like it! Something to note guys – I know you’re trying to impress her but do it where you can be comfortable/natural. Otherwise if your best laid out plans don’t exactly work out (e.g. dropping a crab on your tux with the darned chopsticks and then spilling the wine on her dress as you grab for the napkin) you’ll become a bumbling mess .

  2. stb says:

    I’ve found that missing ingredient. Can’t believe am kinda old-fashioned. But with these, I can make it better. Thanks for ds.

  3. Maxwell says:

    Wow! You know what, this list would work Før both sexes. As much guys try to be creative, most gals have a preconceived notion what a first date should be like and when you suggest some harmless but unconventional stuff, they look at you like someone who has lost it. But I totally agree with the advice that the first 2-3 dates should be the kind that offers opportunities to “talk”, because I believe you learn more about the person that way as long as you are discerning even if the person is being economical with the truth. Nice piece ɑ̤̥̈̊ℓℓ round.

  4. Damilola Demehin says:

    Do people still do the conventional dinner date? Was that even really an option in d 60s and co? I really like this list. Love the bookshop idea.Well done MielP,mischievous introvert.

  5. Chiazor Mac-Philip says:

    doesn’t happen in Nigeria, trust me yall need to chill…They ain’t about this life

  6. daretube says:

    *smiles* || interesting! Good points there. I also like the fact that u tried to point out some of the limiting factors in our environment. *smiles*

  7. atinuke says:

    Very lovely……I wish guys would really take make use of any1….for real; that of cos he isn’t expecting you’d pay for the meals at the date….lol

  8. deola says:

    Extreme sporting centres too make sence with car racing or paintballs….
    Window shopping is also cool you can get ideas of what your new friend likes
    *big grin*

  9. Tee-i says:

    … this should definitely help with the ‘opeke’ headache I’ve had this past few days. You see…I’d met her on a social network platform through a friend and breaking the ice has been like chopping an obeche tree with a blunt axe…lol.

  10. la says:

    Nice one, a tad old school but I’m feeling it.

  11. Olanisebe Solomon Oladimeji says:

    This is a nice and a great piece.

  12. 'Sope says:

    Its somehow unfortunate am married, I would av loved to follow one of this tips on my first date wit my wife, but its rather not too late, I promise to use one or more of this ideas soon, at least to a kind of reaffirm my love to my wife. I only hope my job permit me soon.. *smile*

  13. gboyegaotolorin says:

    This is great! Lovely ideas for those of us who are romantically challenged…

  14. banji says:

    This is a great piece Oyin! You have solved a big problem for some of us. I love it.

  15. beehawdhun says:

    i love the love and sports and i just hope and wish a guy would take me out on that kinda date! Maybe it will start up my love for sports! Yikes! All in all, nice write up! Should adopt it pretty soon!

  16. beehawdhun says:

    Reblogged this on 'Beehawdhun and commented:
    … And this is a very lovely post! Do endeavor to add your own thoughts! Thanks

  17. Segun says:

    …Okay, I don’t know how many times I’ve read this now (I know its not a textbook. Lol), but I like the “minimalist” approach. Sometimes, the very important things in life are conveyed in simple yet striking ways.

  18. emax says:

    Wow! This is really a fantastic piece. Nice work gal. Its really refreshing to find these heads up before one messes up a first date. It’s timely for me. Thank you ma.

  19. Sţ. Sanmi says:

    Going down memory lane on a walk to remember does it for me. You guys won’t recover from the experience very quickly. You’ll then set the stage for and endless communication cos now that you know where you’re coming from you wanna know what’s ahead. Nice ones sis. Keep it coming.

  20. febisola says:

    Lovely write-up. Winks! Hope to read more soon.

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