A beautiful reader, Biola Ige sent this post in for the gentlemen. Hopefully you guys can take a cue… hehehehe.
Hi ya fellas…hope you all are good? I’m kinda new at this but I’ve had this in my head for a while now so I decided to let you guys in the loop *wink*
As a pretty young woman *flutters lashes* I’ve been asked out quite a number of times by different guys in different ways, but then this post is not about how to ask a girl out. It’s about what not to ask a girl when you have plans to ask her out. So……here goes.
If you wanna know if she’s involved with someone else, don’t ask are you engaged? she might just say no and then you go ahead and ask her out and she tells you “I have a boyfriend”. Before you climb on your high horse and start screaming you told me you are not engaged…Duhhh, she has a boyfriend, that doesn’t mean she’s engaged to him yet, cos he hasn’t put a ring on it, so guys, be very specific when you are asking that particular question..your next step depends on it.
Next, don’t ask a girl how old are you? It is very tacky and many times comes across as a rude question. Instead, you can explore a roundabout way of finding out. For instance, you can ask her what year she finished secondary school. The average young adult left secondary school between 16-18 years (I’m not talking about the 13/14 year olds we have these days *eyes rolling*). From there, add up her 4/5/6 years in University, if she went to one, (plus and minus a couple of years for J.A.M.B and ASUU strike) and you have your answer, or you simply do a backward calculation..if she left secondary school at 16, means she got in at 10+, all things being equal, got into elementary school at 5/6 and there you have it. You have saved yourself the are-you-a-stupid boy look she would have given you.
By all means, the state of health of a man and woman is an important factor to consider when looking for a boy/girl friend, and longer term relationship. But if for instance, you are a guy with AS, AC or SS genotype, you don’t wanna call a lady up the next day after getting her digits and ask “hey what’s your genotype?” I understand that you wanna know such detail before you get too deep, but please, not on the first call/date. You can work your conversation into that area after you have gotten to be friends. I mean, if you feel that you can’t date, you can obviously still be friends. So breathe, its important but again… breath. Get to know her, decide if you like her that much and be her friend.When you ask about her genotype 5 mins after meeting her, she knows where you are headed and she can either be scared, pissed or even insulted. Even if you don’t get to marry her, you could end up being best buddies, you never know. After all, your genotype decides who you can marry, it doesnt decide who you can be friends with.
Don’t ask about her ex in specifics, either genuinely or maliciously. If she wants you to know about him, she will tell you about him, but don’t go asking why did you guys break up?, do you think I’m different from him?, Am I better than him?, Would you rather be with me or him?, Can you get back together with him, bla bla bla…Don’t dig up bad, good, awful or pleasant memories. There is a reason he’s her ex…in her past…leave him there.
Well, I do have a couple more but I’ll stop here before I give away all the secrets at a go 🙂 …but remember, the key is to get to know and understand her person first before sprouting all the questions…moreover, you have the rest of your live to get the answers… well, hopefully.
Biola is a makeup artist and fashion consultant in Ibadan, Nigeria. She is also a fantastic jeweller. She is the creative Director at Grace n Charm concepts. You can check on some of her pieces here . She tweets @beeohlarh