Two nights ago, I couldn’t sleep much through the night because I was ranting in my head about the trap and toxic that has become of what people generally claim to be religion or more recently spirituality. I wanted to start writing in the middle of the night but I told myself to calm down and let the anger cool off before putting pen to paper, otherwise it would end up being again, just a rant.

Many things happen in our world, and many people go through stuff that either breaks them or strengthens them. For instance, abuse in relationships, especially physical abuse, I’ve never understood women who stay, in marriage to be particular. I’m not in their shoes so truly I don’t get why they stay. But then, for people to spiritualise such delicate matter and begin to say to victims of physical abuse that they should stay or hang in there, because divorce is a sin or not of God is absolutely beyond me. It infuriates me to my bone marrow, and in my opinion that is witchcraft.

So this is what upset me two nights ago.
I read about a Pastor who told people in his congregation who were being beaten by their partners to stop whatever it was they were doing to get beaten because God is against divorce and hell fire is waiting for any one who divorces. My jaw has, since reading that dropped to the floor and I have not been able to pick it.
The number of people who have died from being beaten I’m sure has risen in the last two days. And I hope for the sake of that pastor that they are all presently seated with super woman crowns at the right hand of Jesus because if they are not?…

About a month ago, on my social media, I raised the issue of caesarean births being looked at with disdain especially from older women who should know better. So imagine my shock when I got messages from some women that their pastors condemn it and emphasise that it is not God’s way. Again I’m just sitting here wondering how many of us will rot in hell because we refused to be Hebrew women. As for this topic, I don’t even know how to continue with writing it because I’m still in shock. But someday, I will complete the piece I started on it.

I hear people ask women, “was your delivery normal” And I’m usually like what? Ki lon je be? What is normal and abnormal?
What has the method of delivery got to do with anything, let alone spirituality?
The Bible reference that keeps cropping up says Hebrew women give birth before the midwife arrives. Yet, at your so called normal delivery, you had two midwives (read as nurses if you are Nigerian) and one doctor. Possibly two grandma’s waiting for you at home to help you with recuperation and perhaps your husband by your side. Why didn’t you push your baby out in your living room, at home? Why did you need any help? Are you not a strong Hebrew woman?

I am so weary of church these days. A place where people should find freedom is where they end up getting in bondage. Believe me you are in bondage if your pastor tells you to remain in an abusive marriage. Wait, why is your pastor even the one making that decision for you?

It’s the same question I asked the people who told me their Pastor said the only way to deliver a baby is like strong Hebrew women. Are you pregnant for your pastor? Even if you were pregnant for your pastor, it’s your womb last I checked. So you can deliver your baby any how you like. If you want, deliver through your mouth, as long as it is humanly possible. Let’s even put aside complications that specifically warrant a caesarean, maybe like a placenta privia. There’s really nothing you can do, you need a caesarean. But even if there are no complications, your body is your body. I have a friend who requested a caesarean way before her due date. My mom had her four babies through caesarean, in the 80’s. Is she suddenly less spiritual or less Hebrew?
Do what you want, vagina or caesarean delivery, it’s a child that comes forth, not a goat.

This matter is why I never want to join or be part of women forums, especially religious ones. Overtime, because of this culture of spiritualism that we are entrenched in, or that has been forced upon us, these forums usually end up becoming an association of sorrowful women, desperately playing proverbs 31 or is it 30 women, who are actually hurting so much deep down but can’t speak up because they need to be strong and Hebrew… Imagine hiding the fact that you had a caesarean or your husband beats you because you are trying to be spiritual and make heaven.

Ok I need to stop, because this post wasn’t meant to be a female gender liberation post, but I see it slowly gearing towards it, well majorly because my two examples are female related.

But whatever the case, don’t be clouded by religion is all I’m saying.
Don’t let gospel lines lead you to bad decisions.

Again, sadly, I have just read about a lady who recently lost a perfectly normal and healthy baby that she carried for 9 whole months because she was trying to be Hebrew.

Me, I’m not Hebrew, I’m Nigerian please.

Be wise.

10 Comments Add yours

  1. chichi says:

    Well said hon…….God help us

  2. Jumoke says:

    I can’t start to relate to this piece , if I do my dear, it’ll be an epistle. However, great one!

  3. Koko Obott says:

    Pastors these days seem to have so much control on their congregation. I think we as Christians or followers of Jesus should also study our bibles and not depend solely on what our pastor’s determine as their interpretation of the Scriptures that conveniently help buttress their points. Pastors are also human beings, prone to mistakes and errors, we should stop worshipping them.

    Good read Tope.

  4. Jumoke, am with you on that, I get pretty mad and I am shocked at somethings I just read here, I guess it will take days to get my own jaws fixed but seriously people perish for lack of the right knowledge of God’s word. My pastor did not die for me, Jesus did so….

  5. Yetunde says:

    True talk o Tope, it’s pathetic the level to which people allow themselves to believe what the bible doesn’t say…and the misplaced rights religious leaders seem to think they have over the way their members live!

  6. Bimpe says:

    Wow Tope.. Well said… This is exactly what we discussed in my home this afternoon… This so called ‘Hebrew woman’ delivery has even made our doctors more negligent now than ever before…And I wonder what the method of delivery of a bundle of joy (human being) got to do with spirituality.. If a woman wants to be delivered through a caesarean session, what’s wrong with that? In all of these, God is the protector and helper of all no matter the method or circumstance of delivery… God is Almighty and the source of everything; Jesus died for us and not pastor… We should be careful of the doctrines of pastors o…

    And I wonder whether a woman who is being battered loses her senses when she’s beaten and doesn’t know how and what it means to flee… Like PSun would say, a man who beats a woman needs to be arrested and taken through rehab.. And the woman should flee for her life..

    What is the essence of being ‘spiritual’ when you live in perpetual sadness, depression and deprivation?!

  7. magnumidun says:

    This religion issue u’ve just slightly touched have scattered and re-navigated some ppls journey in life. I came across a life experience in “HONESTLY (a pilgrimage through despair and hope) by sheila walsh” a woman stood up in church to give a testimony that she lost her child, and she thanked the Lord because he knows best, only for the author to find the woman wailing in despair in the toilet. I recommend that book and u’ll see how this woman struggled thru depression amidst christian-dom , simply because she wanted to be like the “Hebrew women”. Wisdom is profitable to direct, let’s be well grounded with the holy-book’s content, and not be swayed by remixed church doctrines. God bless us all, God bless TOPE 4 this piece.

  8. Nedoux says:

    Hi Tope,

    I laughed so hard @ “I’m not Hebrew, I’m Nigerian please.”

    Religion should be blended with a slice of common sense. People sometimes conceal their foolishness under the canopy of spirituality.

    Enjoyed reading this. 🙂

  9. Pingback: Musings #5 | TIMI

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