Two nights ago, I couldn’t sleep much through the night because I was ranting in my head about the trap and toxic that has become of what people generally claim to be religion or more recently spirituality. I wanted to start writing in the middle of the night but I told myself to calm down and let the anger cool off before putting pen to paper, otherwise it would end up being again, just a rant.

Many things happen in our world, and many people go through stuff that either breaks them or strengthens them. For instance, abuse in relationships, especially physical abuse, I’ve never understood women who stay, in marriage to be particular. I’m not in their shoes so truly I don’t get why they stay. But then, for people to spiritualise such delicate matter and begin to say to victims of physical abuse that they should stay or hang in there, because divorce is a sin or not of God is absolutely beyond me. It infuriates me to my bone marrow, and in my opinion that is witchcraft.

So this is what upset me two nights ago.
I read about a Pastor who told people in his congregation who were being beaten by their partners to stop whatever it was they were doing to get beaten because God is against divorce and hell fire is waiting for any one who divorces. My jaw has, since reading that dropped to the floor and I have not been able to pick it.
The number of people who have died from being beaten I’m sure has risen in the last two days. And I hope for the sake of that pastor that they are all presently seated with super woman crowns at the right hand of Jesus because if they are not?…

About a month ago, on my social media, I raised the issue of caesarean births being looked at with disdain especially from older women who should know better. So imagine my shock when I got messages from some women that their pastors condemn it and emphasise that it is not God’s way. Again I’m just sitting here wondering how many of us will rot in hell because we refused to be Hebrew women. As for this topic, I don’t even know how to continue with writing it because I’m still in shock. But someday, I will complete the piece I started on it.

I hear people ask women, “was your delivery normal” And I’m usually like what? Ki lon je be? What is normal and abnormal?
What has the method of delivery got to do with anything, let alone spirituality?
The Bible reference that keeps cropping up says Hebrew women give birth before the midwife arrives. Yet, at your so called normal delivery, you had two midwives (read as nurses if you are Nigerian) and one doctor. Possibly two grandma’s waiting for you at home to help you with recuperation and perhaps your husband by your side. Why didn’t you push your baby out in your living room, at home? Why did you need any help? Are you not a strong Hebrew woman?

I am so weary of church these days. A place where people should find freedom is where they end up getting in bondage. Believe me you are in bondage if your pastor tells you to remain in an abusive marriage. Wait, why is your pastor even the one making that decision for you?

It’s the same question I asked the people who told me their Pastor said the only way to deliver a baby is like strong Hebrew women. Are you pregnant for your pastor? Even if you were pregnant for your pastor, it’s your womb last I checked. So you can deliver your baby any how you like. If you want, deliver through your mouth, as long as it is humanly possible. Let’s even put aside complications that specifically warrant a caesarean, maybe like a placenta privia. There’s really nothing you can do, you need a caesarean. But even if there are no complications, your body is your body. I have a friend who requested a caesarean way before her due date. My mom had her four babies through caesarean, in the 80’s. Is she suddenly less spiritual or less Hebrew?
Do what you want, vagina or caesarean delivery, it’s a child that comes forth, not a goat.

This matter is why I never want to join or be part of women forums, especially religious ones. Overtime, because of this culture of spiritualism that we are entrenched in, or that has been forced upon us, these forums usually end up becoming an association of sorrowful women, desperately playing proverbs 31 or is it 30 women, who are actually hurting so much deep down but can’t speak up because they need to be strong and Hebrew… Imagine hiding the fact that you had a caesarean or your husband beats you because you are trying to be spiritual and make heaven.

Ok I need to stop, because this post wasn’t meant to be a female gender liberation post, but I see it slowly gearing towards it, well majorly because my two examples are female related.

But whatever the case, don’t be clouded by religion is all I’m saying.
Don’t let gospel lines lead you to bad decisions.

Again, sadly, I have just read about a lady who recently lost a perfectly normal and healthy baby that she carried for 9 whole months because she was trying to be Hebrew.

Toh,
Me, I’m not Hebrew, I’m Nigerian please.

Be wise.