USELESSNESS; Of Women and Men

When I first moved to Takoradi, in Ghana’s western region, the first profiling I got from neighbours had subtle hints of she’s just like all those useless girls.
Takoradi is like Nigeria’s Port Harcourt. The oyel city. So it is not uncommon to see black girls following oyinbo, the expatriates who live there doing drilling, mining or construction jobs. And by the way, oyinbo is oyinbo, including Indians.

Just like in Nigeria, you hear christian mothers in supermarkets sigh and shake their heads with a deep sense of pity for them, but gratitude to God that their own daughters haven’t ended up like these useless ones.

Useless girls sleeping around with Obruni…Useless, just useless. Because of money oh. Mpacho how much will he give them?
They will heave and sigh and eventually pay for their bread and fruits, as that is the original thing they are in the supermarket for.

Obruni is Ghanaian term for oyinbo.

Many times I look ahead of these scantily dressed, sometimes naive useless girls and actually wonder why no christian fathers, or mothers perhaps are speaking about the usually overweight men they are following.
The useless obruni who left his wife and two beautiful daughters in Norway to come and chase girls in Ghana or the one who won’t let his wife join him from America so he can concentrate on work and she can take care of the kids. Ahh there’s the one who can’t stand his wife’s success in Nigeria and so will rather be with a 21 year old he can control. That sounds very much like uselessness to me. So if we are going to be apportioning uselessness, we might as well share it equally.

The entitled idea that girls are the ones with the duty to be modest or chaste.
This same morale is why female rape victims remain victims. Victims of rape, victims of community slander…

Why were you out so late?

You shouldn’t have gone to the toilet alone

What were you doing there wearing a mini skirt

As though wearing a mini skirt was suddenly a pre requisite to getting raped. As though going to the toilet in groups was a pious act that should be imbibed; a righteous doing that showed that you were a decent christian girl that didn’t do anything to warrant rape. As though rape, like oro, was a ritual that happened only at night.

Maybe for once, if we concentrated on the rape allegations against Bill Cosby rather than be blinded by his legendariness as a comedian to dismiss the claims of all the women who have spoken up about what he did to them.
Perhaps if we said occasionally to big men, chief’s or Alhaji’s clad in white flowing Agbada with 6 months already paid for rooms in Hilton used strictly for conjugal acts of uselesness that oga, you no de shame? You fit born this girl o.
Maybe if we beat up tattooed boys with exposed body parts and underwear inside Lagos buses like we did girls, and called the ones who played loud music with three girls in their car “loose boys

This uselessness can be well shared.

I remember when I went to Arik office inside Hilton one very early morning. I went to change a flight. I finished and got a cab whose driver unapologetically over charged me. But I agreed, because I knew a cab might not come in for another hour. So as we drove out, I tried to make small talk, teasing the man about how I felt he was cheating me. Not knowing the foolish man profiled my no make up face and bantu twists for someone who had spent the night at the hotel with some man and had definitely gotten paid for it.

Wooooo, pay abeg” he blurted.
After them don settle you your money for inside you come de argue my own price.

I was shocked, upset, but only had energy to shake my head in disgust. Same driver would have picked a guy who ordered him to drive to zone 4 to pick up girls and he would have hailed, chiefoo, oga sir, ranka dede

I paid him and concluded he was just a useless driver. Perhaps he had noodles where grey matter should be.

NOTE;Featured image belongs to the internet

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9 Comments Add yours

  1. kikki says:

    This is one very hilarious post. I couldn’t even get a hold of my self. In my opinion everyone is just looking for who to blame or what to blame for their foolishness. We all should check ourselves and have a rethink. This is a very thoughtful and enlightening post btw.

  2. Chichi says:

    Lol dis is so so funny… kikikikikik.

  3. Deola says:

    Useless driver!

  4. Michael says:

    I want to believe that the fragility and the general believe that every part of the female body is utmost sensitive to the male gender…man is believed to lose his sense of reasoning as soon as he set eyes on the sensitive part of a woman. From that background, matured female is expected to do everything possible to prevent frivolous dressing and behavior that suggests that they are loose. However, this is not an excuse for a taxi driver or anyone for that matter to generalize on who deserve to be castigated just because of their looks or their present situation.

  5. Banke says:

    Too funny! Had to stop myself from laughing out loud on this crammed train when I got to ‘useless driver’. Well written my friend, well said!

  6. Joba says:

    If not for the low supply of taxis at that hour, I wish you alighted at the point of his comment, and just before he drives off, tell him: “not every girl that comes out of Nicon Hilton without make-up and with Bantu knots was a one night stand. If you want to be getting paid big money for your taxi job, wait for those “ogas” that carry those type of girls to Nicon Hilton, and tell the ogas not to argue price with you, since they just settled their last night girls inside.”
    Or you could have waited till you got to your destination to still tell him.
    But then sometimes, life is too short to waste time on people who don’t get it.

  7. luchiwrites says:

    Hillarious! Noodles in place of grey matter. Your anger is well felt, my friend. If only. The guys could be held just as accountable. Imagine someone saying its okay for a guy to cheat on his spouse but for a lady, it is totally unforgivable? Hmmmm…..

  8. Uwana says:

    I love. ……. uselessness should indeed be well apportioned. ‘Noodles where matters should be’ lmao

  9. Jola says:

    We have been arguing this “uselessness” matter since forever, and we will continue to. its so sad that a “useless” man does not even feel ashamed of his uselessness. Its a feather on his cap. It’s up to us now to raise the next generation right to the best that we can. Well written!

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