This article was an assignment at Chimamanda’s Creative Writing Workshop I attended in June. I have tweaked it very slightly for my blog. The original now belongs in the memory and laptop of Chimamanda and my other classmates sorry. LoL ENJOY!!!

This is totally out of my comfort zone. Writing about sexuality. Please me I’m a born again, spiri ko ko sister… No one should ask me to contribute to this yamayama topic. I don’t even know much. Heck I don’t even know anything. I planned to ask Doris about it. I mean, she’s always excited to discuss 50 shades of grey in class. Girl must be getting some… You can’t be discussing and describing 50 shades so vividly like that and not be a pro at… you know…Eiiii God, these children of nowadays…

I hope my mom doesn’t see this article when I post it. Her tiny eyes behind her thick glasses will ask me; Omo yi, have you known a man? I should tell you about how my mom has become an internet pro since my brother bought her an iPad but it will look like I’m trying to deviate from the topic. So back to Doris. I mean, back to sex…ual..ity

See how they even made the word sweet. “uality” they should have made it like “sexualdigitation” that way, like the word prestidigitation, people will avoid it. They’ve just made it sound like something you can order at a bar. Sexuality with lots of ice please.

I belong to the “if man touch you, you will be pregnant generation”. So yes I am still scared of men. Infact the first time I did it. Oh wait are you shocked that I have done it…I did it o. One time after Secondary School, the stooooopid boy said he’ll put only the tip. There was no tip. Same size from beginning to end. I haven’t done it again with another guy to find out if there’s tip or not though.

Ok ok ok…see for a topic I know nothing about, I think I’m talking too much. So this is the point. My sexuality is not your business. PERIOD.
Thing is, whether you are an often engager, same sex engager, male and female engager or one time male engager like me, your sexuality is yours. It’s best when people understand it’s peculiarity and idiosyncrasy and don’t try to question yours for you. That’s what I’m doing with people of other preference or orientation. I don’t understand their sexuality but I NEVER question it for them, just like I don’t expect anyone to question my virginity or lack of it at 30. This sexuality thing is yours. I remember when one day my first year in Uni, the pastor of the church I was attending said we are all sexual beings. I didn’t go to that church again, because… Born again. In retrospect though I will interpret what I think he meant as this; just like salvation, your sexuality is your own. You have to work it.

Ahhh see what I did there.

I shall now proceed to look for a dude that has no tip.

*Featured image belongs to the worldwideweb.

3 Comments Add yours

  1. Jola says:

    hahahaha….Tope oh!! my first laugh of the day! from yamayama topic to sexualdigitisation to there was no tip! lol….

  2. Deola says:

    I’m sooo confused right now! Lwkm!!!

  3. Ima O says:

    Tope, it’s official… You, my dear, are definitely crazy!! #notip really? lmaooooo But, i agree with u completely – one’s sexuality is nobody’s business but one’s own, whether one chooses to flaunt it or hide it. Love the wordplay.

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