In the raging case of Pastor Biodun vs Ese Walter, and the extra girls now coming out to confess, I decided against many promptings from people to tweet or write anything as a blogger and a media enthusiast. Trust me, I know a juicy news item when I see one, and this one is very easy to milk and send to the public. I began writing this post last week but decided not to rush into finishing/publishing it so it didn’t get drowned in all the emotional “higa higa” of the weekend.

As I say all the time, everyone is entitled to their opinion no matter how archaic or stupid it sounds. But as much as we are, I believe there is the point where common sense or shall I say wisdom allows us draw the line. My eventual hope for this post is that we all learn to draw the line, at some point. Be it with juicy stories we read; political, pastoral, celebrity and non celebrity details that have sadly found their way to everyone’s hands, including those who have no business having them, or trending topics of intellectual propensity, because of the internet.

I don’t know whether to say that it is unfortunate that social media is the “easiest‘ and “quickest” form of communication right now because as you may have noticed, (or not have) it is ruining us. Accept it or not, talking face to face will always be the safest way to communicate. You can observe stuff like body language, tone of voice and other seemingly little vibes. On social media, every one just wants to talk and be heard. Everyone wants to prove a point, we all want to outwit each other. The funniest jokes, the hottest diss, the biggest gbagaun. We don’t even care how it affects the person(s) involved. The other day news went round about how popular Nollywood actress Tontoh Dike contemplated or perhaps attempted suicide, and I could not believe the kind of hate buzz that people still managed to generate for someone who was in so much pain already.

Ok so maybe we don’t like Tontoh. Maybe her acting is weird, maybe her singing is whack (I believe it is) but her life is her life.  So wishing her dead and spreading untrue stories to validate your tweet so you can get 50 retweets is just damn EVIL. Someone tweeted the other day after Arsenal began the EPL with a loss that Wenger should just die of a stroke. He got so many retweets, probably more than he had ever gotten since he opened his twitter account.  So what? football fanaticism has clouded our sense of  humanity, or better yet, our sense of reasoning? Make a slight grammatical error in your tweet and some people take it upon them selves to frustrate you to the point of closing your twitter account. The quest for popularity and follower ship make people go any length to get what they want. A certain blogger whose name I will withhold just because of the fact that you all would leave this post and possibly go and lynch him, changed the headline of the Ese Walter story, just so he could get traffic to his blog. His title read “How I was Raped by Pastor…” . To think that being famous on twitter does’t even put any money in your bank account.

It is mostly difficult to have descent conversations on social media. Users see being critiqued as being attacked and decide to take it personal. People have differing opinions on a subject and a mega fight erupts. Curses for unborn generations on a fellow you have never even met. So what if I joined the PDP, and you are anti PDP? So what if my pastor flies a jet and your pastor doesn’t? So what if I watch BBA, and you hate it? Should that be an issue for insensitivity or death threats? It is a shame that we would rather bash people in other to get a fancy or funny tweet going.

There is one gist or the other on social media everyday. There are people who create hashtag trends for a living. If its not #childnotbride, it is #pastor&privateJets or #beverly’sSexVideo, #KimKardashian’sBaby. It is ok to discuss and share your opinion, and there is no problem, if you want to centre your gist on analysing how baby North would become Blue Ivy’s BFF and they would both fall in love with Royal baby George. That is your business. There is absolutely no need to relate it to Kim’s sex tape,and produce a fresh dose of bashings just to express your displeasure. Can you not see that she has moved on? Heck she’s on season 8 of a silly show that has over 3million viewers, (if  not more). You are on twitter  hoping for 50 retweets for being able to diss her the best. Comments on posts by bloggers are the worst. Most times the insults have nothing to do with the story. The insensitivity we portray stinks. It is hateful, it is disgusting. People are hurting deeply, dying slowly, or being suicidal because of these “little” things. Strangers get insulted for being “ugly” in their avatar. Like really? Being ugly is now enough reason to be hunted. It is RIDICULOUS

Unlike any other typical rant, I hope we truly get to understand the gravity of this. I hope we learn that being considerate is very important. I hope we learn that this world is quite smaller than we thought. I hope we learn that what goes around ALWAYS comes around. Ultimately I hope we learn that people deserve their space.

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11 Comments Add yours

  1. Femi Iyanda says:

    I’m amazed at the guts and joy people derive in pulling down Men of God and planting discord in churches. Even members say all sorts against their pastors. When a servant of God sneezes, they are the first to break the new. If you’re not comfortable staying in his church or listening to his teachings, why not leave. Must you scatter the church? Even if the pastor sins, SHUT UP! Are you his God? How dare you judge him. Remember Miriam was struck with leprosy for talking against Moses, David ordered the death of the soldier that claimed the death of king Saul. Of a truth Moses and Saul made mistakes, but who gave you the authority to place a charge against God’s elect? These men are accountable to God not man. Hmmnn…Ese Walter, I think she has issues. She kept claiming regrets, emotional imbalance, abuse, etc as if she was raped. Now she thinks her outburst would solve her problem? LIE!!! She’d probably feel worse. Infact there’s no problem anywhere, its just HATRED.
    Please don’t get me wrong guys, I’m not condoning such acts (besides we’ve not even heard the other side of the story yet). My Point is…Men of God are humans too and they are accountable only to God not man so SHUT UP!!!

    1. bharyour says:

      Hi Femi,

      I’m not sure I totally agree with you that they are accountable to God only and not to men. The fact is, they are men. And being men in “exalted positions” they’ve got tons of people looking up to them and that in a way makes them accountable. Not to say that gives us the right to judge them, that’s not out role, but being a Pastor does not automatically preclude you from the scrutiny every other leader gets. And believe me, if a Pastor or any other leader contravenes any rule, they should be treated like any other man will be.

      I don’t condone this social media “me too must get points” nonsense, but neither do I agree that leaders of any ilk should be accountable only to the God that has put them there. I can’t find a justification for it anywhere. I respect roles, but I deal with men.

  2. Ajumobi Taiwo Kolade says:

    TRUE LOVE- the willingness to extend one’s self for the benefit of another- is what is missing in the world. love is as love does. A person with love will act or choose not to act for the benefit of others. with or without the love feeling his action will be loving. The social media promotes self-centredness. We must have the highest number of narcissists in human history. Its easier to do wrong than right so each individual must continue to fight that battle within himself.

  3. oluchi says:

    Well said, dear. I hope people change their ways before we lose all sense of our humanity. After all, it is our humanity and compassion that seperates us from animals.
    Thank you Tope.

  4. Jerry says:

    Quite impressed by this write up. It’s appalling how people seem to feel like they get points for recklessly pulling down people because it is popular to do so, the funny truth is that most times people speak from hearing just one point of view! Like the case in point. Joseph was thrown into prison for simply being alleged to have molested his bosses wife, even though he had been a faithful servant all the while. It seems that in Nigeria once something appears on social media, a blog at that, with no editorial board, it is seen as the truth! That is simply shambolic! It is even more sad that we as christians would join hands in pulling down one of ours, even if he indeed fell, her story was vindictive and against the church not just him, she described the church’s stickers so that their members would be seen in bad light and treated with disdain wherever they go!

    We are quick to persecute who we don’t know, I will give an example. My friend is a big fan of Donnie McClurkin and considers him to be his mentor, recently I hung out with a popular american gospel artiste who told me that a gay man doing her make up before an event told her that Donnie always calls him for sex, I disbelieved it, and wen I told my friend (donnie’s fan) he immediately dismissed it as being an attempt to pull Donnie down, however this same guy heard the pastor biodun story and immediately described him as a ‘wolf in sheep’s clothing’!!!

    Please let us be reasonable! Gal 6:1

  5. Wale Oyinlola says:

    Well said Tope….what is meant to bring us together,share interests,keep us informed,blessed and help us look after one another is now tearing us apart. Myles Munroe was right when he said…..when the purpose of a thing is not known,abuse is inevitable. Thanks Tope.

  6. abisola says:

    Good to know not every blogger places more value in the no of views above real value! You’d be surprised at how much pleasure people derive from “killing” others, for popularity sake. People deliberately put on the cloak of rudeness and indecency when it comes to Social Media cos it appears cool, and many “appreciate” these so much that they strive to undergo some form of training to be that way. Its really sad. I hope this article gets to them and awakens their human parts that seem to be slumbering!

  7. duchesstemi says:

    Mrs O, you took the words right out of my mouth.
    “everyone is entitled to their opinion no matter how archaic or stupid it sounds”. I love this.

  8. deola says:

    I think people are simply hurting in there lives and taking it out on others

  9. 'Mobola says:

    I believe your opinion is like Your nose, you can’t make another person smell with it. Its indeed a delight to know that we still have real bloggers… People that place value on content not just on traffic.
    I think that people have become unhuman and have just become so self centered and animalistic, that all they want is pleasure… They don’t care who’s hurt by what. And what they claim is freedom… They don’t want to think that their words are powerful because they don’t place any REAL value on themselves… They don’t think they matters much and so what they say is just “news” or “gist” for cheap poularity… The world is out of course… We just need to set things right… Posts like this will get the job done, but we have to be all out for what is right.

  10. kemifalodun says:

    I agree with you Tope. Everyone wants to prove a point and it’s really saddening. People have become so insensitive and it just breaks my heart. They feel after all, they can make negative comments without anyone knowing their identity. ‘Anonymous’ always saves the day.

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