Biola Ige is back with more tips for the men, on how to get out of that tricky situation of chatting up a lady you like. Enjoy!!!
So last time I wrote on this platform, I talked about a few things a gentleman shouldn’t ask a lady. Read it here. That post generated lots of interesting and contrasting responses. Chief amongst them was “what then should a gentleman ask a lady he’s beginning to take a romantic interest in?”
Well, after thinking about it for a while, I decided to help out the men folk with a few, non intrusive things to ask and talk about with the lady after your heart
Yea, before I delve into that fully, I have noticed a trend amongst guys, especially when they are calling a lady for the first time and she asks how you got her number or BB pin. Guys are quick to take offence at this, but let me shed light on why we ask. The truth is knowing who gave you our digits helps us know how best to relate with you. We categorise people, so when we know who our mutual friend is, we automatically know which category you belong. And sometimes, its a good thing cos you can leverage on the good relationship we already have with your friend.
So in essence, I’m saying a proper introduction is in order. Don’t play silly childish games, its time wasting and our time is pretty precious to us. 😀
Ok, so after properly introducing yourself and she hasn’t hung up on you or deleted you instantly, you can then start talking. Take an interest in her as a person, not as your potential soulmate. Find out what her typical day is like, how she spends her weekends, what church she attends, general suburb where she stays (important to note I didn’t say you should ask for her street and house number), where she works and what her job entails. (Also, note I didn’t say you should ask how much she earns o….or how she spends her salary ehn ehn…before some guys will turn into a private investigator and auditor rolled into one.)
In subsequent discussions, either you have seen physically or not, as long as you are still interested, ask about her folks, how many siblings she’s got, where she grew up, schools attended, where she’s travelled to, past fun experiences -general questions, background stuff.
Moving on, you can get a teeny weeny bit in deep. This is not on the 2nd or 3rd call o. Ask if there’s anybody she’s involved with currently. That’s if she has not been very clear about it from the onset or has not dropped some vague comments about a special somebody.
Favourite food and colour are the sort of things you will find out yourself as you progress, especially if you pay attention and listen when she talks. Don’t expect us to tell you everything. Her weight or fitness regimen is out of bounds till you really start dating. Many girls are quite sensitive about that.
This post is about you getting to know us, but we appreciate it if you provide answers to these questions to us as well. We might ask, we might not, just tell us what you are comfortable about us knowing.
#sigh I should be back with more tips for the men, or who knows, maybe the women… *wink*
Biola is a makeup artist and fashion consultant in Ibadan, Nigeria. She is also a fantastic jeweller. She is the creative Director at Grace n Charm concepts. You can check on some of her pieces here . She tweets @beeohlarh